Purpose

I saw a movie today that is based on a true story.  It chronicled the life of a man who eventually became a butler at the White House and served under 8 presidents (I think).  I cried throughout the movie, but it did have some funny and touching moments.  The director compared and contrasted his life and struggles with the struggles of the US and they intersected quite a bit.

So many emotions came over me during the movie.  I almost feel like a raw, open nerve that feels pain most acutely and the protagonist endured a lot of pain.  A lot of the movie took place during the civil rights movement and the apartheid era.  So much suffering and pain endured.  It made me realize that I am soft, spoiled, and acting entitled.  For a long time, I just wanted to live a regular life and be happy.  Now, I wonder if I could be happy living a regular, normal life.  I wonder if the life that I am called to live is to basically sacrifice myself for the good of others.  I know that I have been thinking about my legacy lately.  I know that I want people to be better off for having known me.

I feel like a struggle is taking place in my soul.  My desire for a "safe" life vs my purpose to make a huge positive impact on others.