My sister posted a picture of herself online and it is really pretty. She is pretty anyway and the photographer was excellent. It made me want to be pretty.
I have a long way to go to become attractive. I would like to start on that road, so that 6 months from now, I will have made significant improvement.
There is a lot that is going on internally. I am in emotional pain right now. Some of it has to do with my physical appearance. Some of it I referred to in a previous post that is poetically titled "My Friends and Family Kinda Suck". I think that I need to :"purge" some of my friends/associates. There are some people in my contact list who rarely, if ever, initiate contact with me. Actually, there are quitte a few of them. I need to let them go to free up space for those who will actually reach out to me from time to time. It will be kinda difficult, but I know that ultimately, it will pay off. Part of my problem is that I have been expecting too much from people and I have to lower my expectations. It seems that most people are pretty self-involved. I know that I can be too! I have to create some loving distance and redirect time and energy that had been spent on others on God and myself. Maybe God is pruning my relationships and helping me to see that He is my main support, although we do need support from others.
Instead, I choose to focus on my relationship with God and improving that. I also choose to focus on the positive internal and external changes that are going on in my life. I am learning how to still myself and calm down. When I do that, I am able to be a lot more productive too. I feel more peaceful and it is a great feeling. It seems like God is increasing my confidence and abilities, because I have finally started to believe in His ability! I believe that He is paving the way for me to obtain some long-desired things. I think that I have to really begin to speak more about what I want than about the pain in my life.
There is a lot that is going on internally. I am in emotional pain right now. Some of it has to do with my physical appearance. Some of it I referred to in a previous post that is poetically titled "My Friends and Family Kinda Suck". I think that I need to :"purge" some of my friends/associates. There are some people in my contact list who rarely, if ever, initiate contact with me. Actually, there are quitte a few of them. I need to let them go to free up space for those who will actually reach out to me from time to time. It will be kinda difficult, but I know that ultimately, it will pay off. Part of my problem is that I have been expecting too much from people and I have to lower my expectations. It seems that most people are pretty self-involved. I know that I can be too! I have to create some loving distance and redirect time and energy that had been spent on others on God and myself. Maybe God is pruning my relationships and helping me to see that He is my main support, although we do need support from others.
Instead, I choose to focus on my relationship with God and improving that. I also choose to focus on the positive internal and external changes that are going on in my life. I am learning how to still myself and calm down. When I do that, I am able to be a lot more productive too. I feel more peaceful and it is a great feeling. It seems like God is increasing my confidence and abilities, because I have finally started to believe in His ability! I believe that He is paving the way for me to obtain some long-desired things. I think that I have to really begin to speak more about what I want than about the pain in my life.
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