Employment "Challenge"

I was talking to a friend today and I may have stumbled upon new insight regarding my coping skills.  Although I am optimistic about my future, I have many challenges to overcome.  My primary challenge right now is being/remaining employed.  I told my friend that there were signs that I was starting to go downhill but I chose not to look at them because I didn't want to believe that I was starting to falter.  Only when there was dysfunction that affected my employment did I start to open my eyes to my life not working.  I mean, I am living in a trash heap.  That should have been a big clue.  I also began missing deadlines and developing a sense of apathy.  It seems like working a 9 to 5 is challenging for me.  It requires consistency and emotional strength that is harder for me to sustain than it is for most others.  I don't have it all figured out yet, but I think this could lead to better recognition of a downward spiral before it hits too hard.

Pitiful or Powerful?

Wow!  It has almost been two years since I have posted anything here!

I feel like I am at a crossroads in my life.  I heard a woman say that you can  be pitiful or you can be powerful, but you can't be both.  I believe that I am stable enough to choose the powerful route.  I am tired of living small and limiting myself based on my diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder.  I have to act on my (modified) dreams and make them a reality.  I am undertaking a Transformation Challenge.  (Nothing formal, I am making this up as I go along.)  I desire change in the following areas: faith, fitness, finances, relationships, and housekeeping.  I just realized that I can blog during my transformation!  That will help keep me accountable.  In future posts, I will break down the areas and give progress reports, at specific points in my journey.

It's good to be back!  Take care of yourself!