As I mentioned in my last post, I was feeling depression nipping at my heels. It was kind of rough for a couple of days, but I feel better today. I think a large part of the problem was my unknowingly taking too much sleep medicine. I would be drowsy for most of the day and it would be difficult to do most things. That in turn would have me feeling bad because I didn't really accomplish anything.
Today, I was able to get up at a decent time, get dressed and get out of the house. I felt more focused than I have in a while and I was able to do a good bit of reading and goal setting. That felt really good. I have to break my goals down into manageable pieces so that I can really get started on them. I am starting to believe that my life can improve as long as I do the work that is necessary to improve it! This is a far cry from what I used to believe. I used to believe that no matter what I did, my life would always suck, so what was the point of trying to improve it? I even believe that God will help me improve my life, especially since the things that I want aren't sinful. I used to believe that He was against me. When I believed that, I really didn't have hope for living.
I still have auditory hallucinations. I have to be careful with that, especially in conjunction with my spiritual life. I used to think that I was hearing God with some of the hallucinations. I don't want to go back there.