Just Do It!

I have had a very interesting week, emotionally. Internally, I felt myself getting better and more hopeful. I even posted about it Wednesday. I really felt LIFE developing inside me again. Externally, nothing changed. I didn't go to work at all. I didn't clean my apartment. I didn't cook much. I barely showered. It's very confusing to me. I can't remember a time when I felt one way emotionally and responded another way externally.
If you will allow me to navel gaze for a moment, I think that I have been feeling anxious. I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I would think about doing something productive like going to work. Instead of pushing past that feeling, I would simply get in bed and go to sleep. I have been avoiding one of my sisters because she asks me about work and I don't want to confess to her that I haven't been in this week.
I know what I need to do though. I need to push past the feeling and just do the task. Not analyze the task or how I feel about it. I need to do it.

I have been thinking a lot about champions, athletes, and being courageous. I read a post by Julie Fast that discussed champions and greatness. She defines herself as a champion because she manages bipolar disorder successfully. I love that definition. I think that I will apply it to myself. In another post, she talked about athletes and how focused they have to be to reach their goals. They also practice whether they feel like it or not. I think that part of my problem is that I am not focused on making my goals come to life. I need to come up with some compelling goals that will keep me working through depression like Ms. Fast. I need to get in touch with the real me that used to be optimistic, set goals, and achieve them. I need to become a champion!